The name says it all

Says the seller:  "Great for carrying around or snuggling."

Obviously.

Crocheted Pizza Rug or Blanket:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/17730571/crochet-pizza-rug-or-blanket

Wait, it's fake?

Says the seller: "I'm veggie so this is fake bacon."


Fake Bacon Felt Headband:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/40984084/fake-bacon-felt-headband

Why Didn't He Call?

OK, but seriously, no.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/46661321/handmade-embroidered-cotton-beater-pms

Zombie Carrot and Friends

I report, you decide.


http://www.etsy.com/listing/36508920/lektrik-eggplant

http://www.etsy.com/listing/45561302/zombie-carrot

http://www.etsy.com/listing/47489554/kawaii-taco-plush

http://www.etsy.com/listing/47883154/happy-gyoza-brooch-smile-little-dumpling

Petri Dish Clean

E coli, salmonella, grapefruit scent. Good times.


http://www.etsy.com/shop/CleanerScience

Duly noted

Evidently there are some circles where this needs to be articulated.


I Heart NY But Hate the Yankees Poster:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/45327781/i-heart-ny-but-hate-the-yankees-8x10

Why Didn't She Call?

I'm thinking these are a dealbreaker.


Men's Black Fleece Paw Slippers:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/44856197/black-fleece-paw-slippers-mens-9-10

Cross or Panty Liner?

The answer we're looking for here is Panty Liner.

Thanks for playing.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/47558537/75-inch-light-pad-cotton-woven-top-with

hm

There's a lot to not understand here.



Light Pink Mohair Teddy Bear Helmet for Blythe:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/47413580/mohair-teddy-bear-helmet-for-blythe?ref=v1_other_1

A beard for all seasons

This beard is a mere $5. Run, don't walk!


The Into It Over It Beard:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/39988235/the-into-it-over-it-beard

Mm Mm Clean

Says the seller:  "This little stomach comes in a banana nut bread scent, a blend of banana, vanilla and walnut. You may be tempted to chew on your fingers a bit after use."

Right.


Anatomical Novelty Stomach Soap:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/46500986/anatomical-stomach-novelty-soap

Bacon Ties the Knot

Says the seller:  "Perfect wedding gift for the bacon lovers in your life!"

Bacon Ties the Knot:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/26976312/bacon-ties-the-knot

Five-finger yarn sandwich

Says the seller: "Bust some heads... *softly*"


Knit Brass Knuckles Pattern:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/30166623/knit-brass-knuckles-pattern-pdf

A little Motown love

Friends, the Motor City needs some love.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/DetroitGT

Meet Squiddy Bear

Part cephalopod, part teddy bear.

Obviously.


Squiddy Bear:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/46933752/squiddy-bear

Curiouser and...

Says the seller: "Upon wearing, your shirt or jacket will become a curiousity museum wall, exhibiting this rare plush creature."

Right.

Plush Taxidermy Brooch:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/40985359/plush-taxidermy-brooch-002

Signin' the blues

 The seller of these clay figurines spelling out FML says they're a teaching tool to help deaf children learn American Sign Language.

I think I'll remain silent on this one.


OMG, IDK and FML in ASL:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/44249221/omg-idk-and-fml-in-asl

Confused? http://lmgtfy.com/?q=FML

Toilet Paper on Your Neck

Here's something.

Says the seller:   

"Use as a reminder that you need to purchase TP. Remember to check that there is TP in that restroom stall before doing your business. Remind a friend of that 'one time that thing happened'."

Right.



Toilet Paper on Your Neck Sterling Silver Necklace:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/44024990/toilet-paper-on-your-neck-sterling

Three Dog Night

Man's best friend, lovingly rendered in yarn, felt, and whatever Mary Janes are made of.


http://www.etsy.com/listing/35651893/chihuahua-mary-janes-shoes-size-8
http://www.etsy.com/listing/44644366/life-size-greyhound-pdf-crochet-pattern
http://www.etsy.com/listing/44981607/pattern-pooping-dog-amigurumi

Happy Mother's Day to all

http://www.etsy.com/shop/charlieandsarah?section_id=5194913

Dead Weight

The heart just makes me laugh. These are statement pieces, aren't they? (I'm not sure what the statement is.)



Dead Backpacks:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/tiamagic?section_id=6930909

Highly Questionable

This hat apparently tells the story of an artificial insemination gone wrong.

Says the seller: "Comes with used zombie semen syringes (no needles)."

Let's move on.


Post Kentucky Derby Zombie Hat:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/46025722/post-kentucky-derby-zombie-hat

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Hope you're having a better one than this particular sombrero-wearer.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/43810926/pink-fancy-sombrero-for-cats-or-dogs

Felted Fish and Chips

I know. This is big.


http://www.etsy.com/listing/44007463/fish-and-chips

Not Recommended for First Dates: Automotive Edition

The creator of these decidedly unsubtle steering wheel covers says she made them so you'll never be alone while you're driving.

Oh, the irony.


Steering Wheel Buddies:
http://www.etsy.com/shop_sold.php?user_id=8235562