Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Everything


A very merry holiday to all. Thanks for reading, and look for more Kraftomatic in the new year.

Christmas lights knitting pattern:


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Scarflette of fear

Something about this presentation seems a bit off.

Chunky Scarflette in Charcoal: StumbleUpon

Monday, December 21, 2009

Are we having fun yet?

Says the seller: "Generic look allows infant to play alongside parents in costume without looking out of place."

Because every child deserves his own personal dark age.

Medieval Baby Tunic: StumbleUpon

Prescription for cuteness

Says the seller: "So cute it hurts."

I'm as unclear about the irony level as you are.

Rx Stuffie, Pill Pin, and Kawaii Needle: StumbleUpon

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I report, you decide

I'm not sure what the white version is. Poo in winter?

Says the seller:  "You are getting the pattern to make exactly what you see - dog poo."

Fake Dog Poo Knitting Pattern:


Thursday, December 17, 2009

Soopa crafts

For those of you who read the piece in the New York Times about crafters on Etsy, including Yokoo Gibran (pictured here in her Soopascarf, available on Etsy), here are links to two previous Kraftomatic posts featuring her funny, appealing work.

(And if you haven't seen the article, here's a link.)

Thanks for visiting. I hope you'll stay a while! StumbleUpon

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Take the Money and Rub

Here's a hand soap every self-respecting Woody Allen fan will want in their bathroom. (Remember the failed prison attempt in Take the Money and Run? No? Let's move on.)

The point is:  Without laughter, this soap scares me.

Gun Soap: StumbleUpon

Something to Talk About

Here's something else I'm not comfortable with.

Says the seller: This is also available in Infant Creepers. I bet it is.

I Have a Secret t-shirt: StumbleUpon

Back me up here

This is a little creepy, right?

Panda Ski Mask: StumbleUpon

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Here's something for the young Mormon your list.

Two Jesuses make for a surprisingly tricky puzzle.

As for President Monson, I had to Google him. You can too.

Baptism, First Vision, and President Monson magnetic puzzles: StumbleUpon

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Red Flag

Keep your distance from this lady.

Your Sports Team Rhinestone/Swarovski Shirt: StumbleUpon

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Baby, it's Nose Warmer season outside...

A cozy reminder that someone on your list could probably use one of these. Or not. Probably not. But still.

Crocheted Nose Warmer: StumbleUpon

What? You want another steering-wheel cozy?

Then I have some good news.

Tie Silk Steering Wheel Cover:


Why Didn't He Call?

'Things were going so well until he came back to my place for that nightcap....'

Cupid Wall Decal: StumbleUpon

Good clean fun

What part of 'Popcorn Chicken Soap' don't you understand?

Says the seller:  "Ready to pop into the tub!"

OK, now I have some questions.

Popcorn Chicken Soap: StumbleUpon

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Here's a unique product specially made for your chapped lips AND your chaps.

Biker Paste Skin Moisturizer and Leather Conditioner: StumbleUpon

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A cozy package

Says the seller:  "the perfect size to fit all kinds of gadgets."

As it were.

Tighty Whitey Blackberry Curve Case: StumbleUpon

Different, cont'd.

Here's another gift I'd rather not receive.

Says the seller: 
"Dogs will eat just about anything, thus the inspiration for DOG BUTT FLOSS."

Oh, now I get it.

Dog Butt Floss Dispenser: StumbleUpon

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Celebrating on the Inside

Here's an intimate way to get into the holiday spirit. Or, a festive way to line your underwear. Or just a bad idea.

I report, you decide.

Peanuts Christmas Choir Panty Liner: StumbleUpon

Saturday, December 5, 2009

More holiday humiliation

Please tell me he doesn't have to keep this on for eight days.

Dreidel Pet Hat: StumbleUpon

Thursday, December 3, 2009

(In)human hands


Says the creator of these unique "gloves or mittens":  "You get an interesting mix of the warmth of mittens, and the dexterity gloves."

Oh, now I see the appeal.

Alien Three-Fingered Gloves or Mittens
T-Rex Gloves or Mittens with Claws: StumbleUpon

Something to wear to Carrie Fisher's one-woman show

But you'll have to knit it first.

On another note, is anyone else craving a cinnamon bun?

Princess Leia Wig Pattern: StumbleUpon

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Apropos of nothing

 If you're expecting an explanation for this print, you are going to be disappointed. As a curator of questionable crafts, I reserve the right to be randomly amused every once in a short while. Like now.

The Glider 5x7 print: StumbleUpon

Points for honesty

If you're going to turn your little one into a billboard, signs of intelligent life are appreciated.

I'm Told I Like Football baby shirt: StumbleUpon


Embarrassing, manhood-threatening, and guaranteed to be your son's least favorite gift this season.

Personalized Dreidel Boxers:


Saturday, November 28, 2009

Gettin' Cozy, cont'd.

Friends, let's face it. With the new chill in the air, just about every inanimate object could use a little warming up.

Flash drive cozy:

Hand sanitizer cozy:

Another hand sanitizer cozy:

Egg cozy pattern: StumbleUpon

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Now It's a Party

Says the seller about these soaps:  "The crackers smell EXACTLY like a saltine cracker, and the cheese is slightly scented with the saltine scent as well."

Fans of the cheddar smell are out of luck.

Cheese 'n' Crackers Vegan Soap Set:


Why Didn't He Call?, cont'd.

Here's a dating tip. Maybe don't wear your Medication Earrings on the first date. Just a thought.

Says the seller:  "A fun gift for medical personnel or someone with a quirky sense of humor."  I would add: Who is not looking to attract or retain any new friends.

Capsule Earrings: StumbleUpon

Fast food (Indoctri)nation

Could this cheeseburger baby rattle be any more awesome?

Hang on. The seller says:  "Also great for cats!"

Now it's perfect.

Cheeseburger Rattle:


Saturday, November 21, 2009

Giving Thanks, cont'd.

What can be said? I'm thankful I'm not one of these dogs.

Turkey Day Pet Hat: StumbleUpon

Friday, November 20, 2009

Turkey Drumstick Rattle. Yes!

Get crochetin'!

Turkey Drumstick Rattle Pattern: StumbleUpon

Confusing, cont'd.

If you're a little tired of all those hand soaps shaped like food items, here's a refreshing change of pace.

Says the seller:  "This little Titanic is lightly scented with the fresh fragrance of summer rain...It is a calming and very relaxing scent."

Alright then.

Titanic Goat's Milk Soap Set:


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Story of my day

Yes, kraftomatic is under the weather (again).

The seller of this felted toast says:  "I can cut it in half if you prefer."

In unrelated news, I miss my mom.

Felt Toast: StumbleUpon

Bad names, cont'd.

Here's another odd name choice -- both for a child and for a monogrammed sheet set.

Personalized Kids' Blanket Set:


Monday, November 16, 2009

Overcozied, cont'd.

Are we having fun yet?

Wine Cozies: StumbleUpon

Away in a Meerkat Manger

Meery Christmas.

Christmas Celebrity Meerkats: StumbleUpon